All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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