Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
