This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
