U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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