so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
