I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize