That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
