drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
