I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
