i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
