you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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