We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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