whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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