Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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