I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
