hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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