i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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