you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
