with your own penis?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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