Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
