I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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