Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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