Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
