I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
