Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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