Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
