have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I still have a little drunk in my system
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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