whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
