I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
