this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
