Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
