she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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