Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
