is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
