I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
