i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
