Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
