The maid of honor just puked.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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