Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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