That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
