Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
