he puts the penis in happiness.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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