My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
