Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
