Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
its liver damage thursday
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize