drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
