you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
