You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
