We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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