I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
