So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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