I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
