I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
