Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize