She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
