Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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