Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
