do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
