Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
