There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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