So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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