I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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