i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
