This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
