I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
