Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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