She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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